I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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