Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
