Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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