I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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