Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
