Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
