I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
