Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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