K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
