His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
