he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
