I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
