i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
