wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down