I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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