just come out here and I will go home with you...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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