Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I like to think it a success when the cops are called

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  (602): I like to think it a success when the cops are called http://tfl.nu/b8sa
  Replies (3) Good night (1343) Bad night (548)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it

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  (813): i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it http://tfl.nu/qhxq
  Replies (14) Good night (1923) Bad night (574)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture

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  (484): Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture http://tfl.nu/aclr
  Replies (23) Good night (600) Bad night (2121)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote

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  (914): I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote http://tfl.nu/0x07
  Replies (37) Good night (3631) Bad night (687)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.

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  (407): I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up. http://tfl.nu/laen
  Replies (13) Good night (3464) Bad night (822)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Me specifically?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Yep.

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  (903): Today in psych we learned that you are a whore. (1-314): Me specifically? (903): Yep. http://tfl.nu/w818
  Replies (44) Good night (9651) Bad night (1124)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.

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  (740): id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag. http://tfl.nu/yqo6
  Replies (72) Good night (1352) Bad night (16292)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."

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  (904): I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear." http://tfl.nu/t3d7
  Replies (4) Good night (3952) Bad night (1191)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  HOT DATE.

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  (201): Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day. (1-201): HOT DATE. http://tfl.nu/4vki
  Replies (11) Good night (3703) Bad night (1433)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.

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  (603): I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again. http://tfl.nu/0sqv
  Replies (23) Good night (1501) Bad night (4807)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  some bitch filled my sink with salsa.

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  (724): some bitch filled my sink with salsa. http://tfl.nu/iv44
  Replies (10) Good night (2332) Bad night (1459)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!

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  (434): A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!! http://tfl.nu/y0d6
  Replies (4) Good night (2251) Bad night (811)
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  (310): View more from California

  So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.

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  (310): So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1. http://tfl.nu/ef5h
  Replies (8) Good night (1159) Bad night (484)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants

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  (612): Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants http://tfl.nu/1x5f
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (454)
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  (650): View more from California

  Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.

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  (650): Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels. http://tfl.nu/tpw7
  Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (219)

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