I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I need water and some morals
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