I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.