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• (509): View more from Washington

  My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.

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• (714): View more from California

  i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.

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• (805): View more from California

  IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!

  (818): View more from California

  A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?

  (805): View more from California

  CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?

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• (940): View more from Texas

  He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.

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• (951): View more from California

  Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?

  (951): View more from California

  ...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.

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