My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
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I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
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I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.