Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...

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(313): Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends... http://tfl.nu/38n2

Replies (15) Good night (1626) Bad night (764)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever

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(702): I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever http://tfl.nu/c1jo

Replies (11) Good night (2121) Bad night (1208)
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(206): View more from Washington

My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ

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(206): My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ http://tfl.nu/st4o

Replies (23) Good night (1010) Bad night (1677)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down

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(203): he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down http://tfl.nu/m1he

Replies (31) Good night (921) Bad night (6429)
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(310): View more from California

i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.

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(310): i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito. http://tfl.nu/9mvh

Replies (15) Good night (4620) Bad night (1088)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?

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(410): I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever? http://tfl.nu/67g4

Replies (75) Good night (20929) Bad night (1155)
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(352): View more from Florida

I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.

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(352): I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green. http://tfl.nu/8k05

Replies (4) Good night (3651) Bad night (1505)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.

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(201): just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this. http://tfl.nu/pmcq

Replies (21) Good night (1308) Bad night (5675)
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(773): View more from Illinois

At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?

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(773): At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer? http://tfl.nu/g4aq

Replies (34) Good night (1870) Bad night (6042)
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(404): View more from Georgia

FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.

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(404): FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall. http://tfl.nu/m2zy

Replies (7) Good night (3262) Bad night (798)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.

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(715): I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro. http://tfl.nu/7eu0

Replies (8) Good night (966) Bad night (2403)
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(260): View more from Indiana

People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them

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(260): People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them http://tfl.nu/5lb9

Replies (4) Good night (1725) Bad night (799)
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(707): View more from California

I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.

(1-707): View more from California

Put down the everclear and go to bed.

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(707): I kinda wanna eat your hands right now. (1-707): Put down the everclear and go to bed. http://tfl.nu/rmaf

Replies (2) Good night (1909) Bad night (576)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer

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(775): Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer http://tfl.nu/5k0a

Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (883)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.

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(574): I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her. http://tfl.nu/9498

Replies (3) Good night (2029) Bad night (461)

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