Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
