Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
