I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
