They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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