Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize