We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
