Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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