More tranny stories later!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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