highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
