I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
