Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
