Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
