spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We left the knife in your bed.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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