well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it because I queefed?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
