I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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