we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
