After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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