I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
