I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
