i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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