Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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