Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This is the high leading the old right now
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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