MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
