I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
