Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
