Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
