We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
