I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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