I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
