I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just gargled with NyQuil
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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