i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm having to shit out rocks
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