Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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