I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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