I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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