Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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