I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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