wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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