What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
