You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
bring money and cleavage
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize