We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
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