you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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