if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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