so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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