Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
