Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We need to rekindle our bromance
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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