Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
