I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How does one acquire holy water?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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