my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
