Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
