I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize