i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
